Interestingly Odd Stuffs That I Do

Ryan lay in his bed, face pressed against his pillows. He cried harder and harder, wondering if the tears would ever end. Surely by now he’d run out of them? But now, the crying refused to cease. He picked up his phone and looked at it through puffy, red eyes. He’d been sorting through his texts, searching for a particular one from Jon and came across one from Brendon that was a two years or so old. He didn’t know why it was still there, maybe he’d saved it by accident. It was the text that caused the floodgates to break. It wasn’t a very long text, but it meant everything to him: “Hey Ryro, just wanted to tell you that no matter what people say or what you hear, I am yours forever and nothing will ever change that, okay? I love you and you alone x”. It was only a few weeks after he got that text that Ryan and Brendon broke up. And it was obvious he still wasn’t over it. Ryan threw his phone across his room and heard it smash satisfactorily against the wall. He then bit down on his pillow as his body shook with such lurching sobs that it felt like he was going to be sick. It was the fact that Ryan knew Brendon was over him and was happy with Sarah. That’s what affected Ryan most; knowing that there wasn’t any chance at all that he could get Brendon back, because he was engaged and in love with that girl. Ryan didn’t realise how hard he was biting his lip until he tasted blood. Now his eyes were stinging too. How long had he been crying like this for now? Two hours? Three? Did it even matter? He always cried for Brendon during the day. And almost every night he’d wake up at 3am sobbing for his ‘Brenny Bear’.
Brendon used to reassure him, he used to comfort him when he got his nightmares bad. Ryan would wake up, screaming, trembling, cold with sweat, but he’d be in Brendon’s arms and Brendon would be softly stroking his hair, murmuring for him to sleep. He’d rock him back and forth and sing lullabies for him until Brendon was sure Ryan was asleep. He never complained about Ryan’s night terrors.
Now, without Brendon, they were worse than ever. Worse than before he had Brendon, worse than when he was a kid, worse than when he first got them, when his dad got bad. Now, he could never sleep through a night without waking up 6 or 7 times. He’d always wake up screaming, crying helplessly. The thing was, the night terrors were just a repeat of his reality, because without Brendon, his existence is a night terror. He couldn’t see the point of life without him. He needed Brendon to live. Right now, Ryan wasn’t living, he was merely surviving, he was going through the motions of life, watching on the sideline.
Ryan punched his pillow and tore at his hair, crying like never before, shaking violently, sweating coldly, feverish. But this was a fever you can’t sweat out, and Ryan reached for the bottle of alcohol that was lying next to him.

After Brendon uttered those five words, everything changed. Sarah was more confused than angry, but eventually -after hours of talking- she understood. In fact, she wasn’t even that upset. Of course she loved Brendon, but he obviously wasn’t happy. All Sarah wanted was for Brendon to be happy, and if that meant being with Ryan then she decided that she would do everything in her power to make that happen. That’s what friends are for.
“So, what’s the story between you two?” Sarah asked Brendon. Brendon smiled sadly, reminiscing.
“We were just boys when we met. I’ve always been more attracted to guys than girls, but I guess I just ignored that. I mean, imagine how my parents would react! When I met Ryan it was just so amazing. He was so funny and…different, you know? And his laugh was so cute. I felt like I had to protect him from the real world, he was so innocent looking. Anyway, he needed a guitarist for his band so I tried out and because Ryan wasn’t there yet, I did vocals too. The rest of the band really liked my voice and asked me to be the lead singer. It was nuts. Obviously I accepted but I couldn’t help wondering whether I’d upset Ryan by doing so. In the end it turned out he was fine with it. We hung out a lot and were the best mates ever. But there was something else there. I had such strong feelings for him, it terrified me. I was so worried that he’d find out and get angry or something. So I made sure that I wouldn’t show my feelings for him, ever. That was, except for one night.” Brendon paused, taking a sip of his drink and ran his hand through his hair. Sarah was hanging on to his every word.
“What happened?!”
“Well…we were having this party. Me, Spencer, Brent, Ryan and some other people. We were all fucking pissed and stupidly high. Me and Ryan decided to get some more beer from the basement, so we went downstairs and into the basement. Now, we were so intoxicated, we couldn’t find a light switch. We were feeling our way through the dark when all of a sudden I felt Ryan’s hand slip into mine. I was about to say something but then Ryan’s fingers were on my lips, and he was telling me to shush. Then he moved his fingers and replaced them with his lips. Before I knew it, we were just having a make out session in the dark. It was better than anything I’d ever imagined. Since then we secretly dating. We had to keep it a complete secret, or who knows what would have happened? We even got girlfriends to throw people off track. It was all fine. Until just after we released pretty. odd. Ryan and I got into fights over tiny things. I dont know what happened. It all just went downhill. He was distant and barely spoke to me. That’s when he and Jon left. We said it was down to musical differences but it was actually down to Ryan…he just… He left me…without a single word!” Brendon broke down and started crying. Sarah sat by him and tried to comfort him. But in the end Brendon just said it was no use and he retreated to his room. Sarah sighed and made herself a bed on the couch. No matter how hard it is, she thought to herself, I am getting them back together!

Brendon had been acting weird lately. Sarah noticed as soon as he started watching videos of Panic! At The Disco concerts a few months back. She could tell he was missing Ryan. He was probably missing Jon too but he and Ryan had a special connection, one she couldn’t comprehend. When Brendon barely acknowledged the fact that it was his and Sarah’s anniversary, Sarah decided enough was enough.
“Brendon, what’s wrong?” She asked, after Brendon refused to eat the anniversary cake Sarah baked him. Brendon didn’t look up. “What?”
“Come on. You’ve been acting weird for months!” Sarah replied.
“I’m fine.” Brendon gave an unconvincing smile.
“No you’re not! Is it about Ryan?” Sarah knew she hit a nerve as soon as the name came out. Brendon brought his fist down on the table.
“Dammit Sarah! How many times have I told you? Do not mention that name in this house! You hear me?!” His eyes blazed, but behind the anger was a sadness that was so sad it was unbearable. Sarah bit her lip and sat down on the arm of the chair Brendon was sitting on. She put her arm round him and kissed the top of his head as he began to sob.
“I can’t do this anymore, Sarah. I can’t. I miss him so, so much.” His voice was weak and vulnerable.
“I know sweetheart, I know. But it’s okay, you’ll get through this.” She stroked his hair.
“No Sarah. I can’t do this anymore. It’s too hard.” Sarah stood up.
“What is it?”
“I… I’m…” Brendon stared hard at the floor, not having the guts to look her in the eyes.
“Spit it out, sweetheart.” Sarah’s tone was so scathing, so resentful that the ‘sweetheart’ sent a sharp pain through Brendon. His throat grew dry.
“I’m in love with Ryan.” He choked out.

I want to write a fanfic. So. I want you guys to decide what it should be about!

Asdfghjkl why do I love this teacher so much omfg it makes me want to cry. Anthony Piper, pleaaaaaase love me! I dont think my heart can cope with much more